Dealing With Energy Vampires

by Celes | | Email this post

This is part of the Dealing With People series.

• Dealing With Energy Vampires
• 8 Helpful Ways To Deal With Critical People
• How To Deal With Dishonest People

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Have you ever faced negative people before? If you are regularly exposed to a fair diversity of people, chances are you probably encountered at least a few negative people before, with 1 or 2 really negative ones. How do you feel after your encounters with them?

Negative people tend to leave others around them drained, tired and lethargic. No matter what you try to say, they always seem to find a way to counter with a negative opinion of sorts. When they face a problem, they soak themselves in the issue rather than deal with it constructively. They adopt a self-victimizing mindset, complaining about whatever happens.

Even when you try to change the topic to something positive, they have a way to turn it into something negative. They are constantly fixated with the doom and gloom of (their) life. Everything is black; there is no white. In the event there is some element of positivity that enters their spectrum, they are quick to excuse that as a one-off encounter or see the dark side behind that.

To negative people, life just sucks.

Negative People as Energy Vampires

There are reasons why negative people are also referred to as energy vampires:

1. Vampires are incapable of generating their life force (blood). Similarly, negative people are unable to create their own energy. As such, vampires rely on living beings around them to keep themselves alive, while negative people seek out others to feed off the energy of them.
2. Vampires convert living beings into their kind because they feel lonely living in solitude. Similarly, negative people seek to bring others on board their sinking ships because they feel miserable by themselves.

Negative people try to suck energy from others is because they have blocked off their inner energy source. The lack of energy in negative people cause them to become walking vortexes, sucking in whatever is around them. This can either be (1) an active action by aggressive negative people who try to cast their negativity around them or (2) an unconscious effect by passive negative people.

Either way, they leave people drained in their presence. For the more negative ones, the effect can be so overwhelming that you feel headaches or mild dizziness. I refer to them the king or queen energy vampires.

On the other hand, positive people are in tune with their inner energy sources. Their energy flows outwards, spreading goodness and warmth to people around them. It’s like a fountain of overflowing water. This is why you feel upbeat and energetic when you are around positive people. They have a magnetic quality to them, drawing others automatically. Great leaders, iconic figures and idols have this in them, enabling them to attract large masses of people. When I was in my previous company, there would be numerous leaders in the management who exuded such qualities – it was a very liberating experience just being around them.

My Encounters with Negative People

Some of my past encounters with energy vampires have left me drained for a good half of the day. If it was a king or queen vampire, the aftereffects can spill over to the 2nd or even third day.

There was a notable period when I was 17~18 when I came across more than the fair share of negativity I was used to. I was in Junior College (JC) then. Because the JC I went to was regarded as one of the poorer performing ones of my country (at the time), many of the students who registered with the school did so because they had no other options, rather than out of choice. A number of schoolmates were quite mired in negativity. Some firmly believed that their lives were destined for failure. Some saw living as an obligation, rather than a desire.

Even some of the teachers would reinforce these (failing) beliefs on the students. These teachers were clearly not proud of being part of the staff in the school. They would sometimes draw comparisons with the top schools, lauding them and indirectly putting us/our school down.

One of my teachers in particular who was deeply rooted in skepticism and realism. She was highly judgmental, often encouraging my class (and probably her other students) to settle for mediocrity, because trying to strive for anything else would just be setting ourselves up for disappointment and failure. If anyone had any dreams or goals, she would be quick to put them out in the name of practicality.

All in all, the school was like a breeding ground of energy vampires. I was quite a positive person, so I would constantly try to uplift my friends around me with positivity. However, it was like trying to stand up and go against a huge tidal wave. I couldn’t make much headway in my goal to help them, because a lot of them chose to remain in their mode of thinking. It didn’t help that the teachers who were jaded would often offset whatever little progress or shift I did in their mindsets.

It was quite a frustrating experience, because not only was I not able to help them, sometimes I would end up being affected by their negativity. When that happened, my energy level became lower and it would take me a couple of days to recover.

On a side note, I remember the principal at that time as a really positive and passionate man who had great visions for the school. He was actually the reason why I decided to enter that particular JC, rather than others. I really respected him for his idealism and commitment. In retrospect, he probably faced huge difficulties in trying to lead the school towards that goal.

When I was in university and in my course of work, there were several other times when I came across energy vampires as well. All these different experiences were invaluable and allowed me to how to better deal with them.

How To Deal With Energy Vampires

Below are 5 key steps I learned to use in dealing with energy vampires.

1. Ground Yourself

The first important step when facing energy vampires is to ground yourself. To ground yourself is to center yourself such that you do not get easily affected or swayed by negative energies around you. If you have studied Physics before, the concept is similar to the grounding in electrical appliances. Read: How to Ground and Center.

2. Shield Yourself

The next step is to shield yourself. A shield is like a bubble around you that separates you and the world; it’s like your energy barrier which keeps out any forms of undesirable energy from entering into your space. Like a real shield, your shield is a defense tool which protects you from aggressors or attacks from outside. It keeps your energy within you and prevents it from getting sucked by the energy vampire. Read: How to Make a Energy Shield.

A shield is not permanent. The energy of the shield wears off over time, which lowers its ability to protect you. In the face of negative people trying to leech off your energy, the shield’s defense ability can be quickly depleted. The more negative the person is, the weaker the shield becomes. When it reaches a point where the shield’s energy is fully depleted, it will cease to function. To avoid that from happening, you should constantly check to ensure your shield is present and upkeep it where needed. It is important not to overly rely on the shield to protect you from such attacks; ultimately you should be well grounded enough (see first step).

3. Extend A Helping Hand

The third step is to help them. People are usually negative because of several factors in their life or events that have taken place in the past. Deep down, they aren’t trying to be malicious. Try to understand the intents of their negativity and help them with it – these usually stem from some inner-fear which they are unable to face by themselves. At the same time, give them unconditional love; be kind and generous towards them.

4. Reduce Contact

While the ideal scenario is for you to be able to lift them up from their negativity, if you are not interested in helping them or you have tried #3 without much success, the next step will be to reduce contact. Limit your contact as much as possible, unless necessary. If you are a positive person, you will find negative people are actually drawn towards you – They enjoy spending time with you since because of the energy you give off. Just stay grounded, shielded and do not reciprocate their attempts to take away your energy. When the vampires know they aren’t getting any responses from you, they will start moving away to other people where they can get their source.

5. Cut Them Away From Your Life

When all else fails, cut them away from your life. While this may seem drastic, it is important to remember you are the average of the 5 people you are with. Energy vampires hold you down from reaching greater heights since they keep feeding off your energy. If you continuously spend your time around energy vampires, you are going to end up an energy vampire in no time too.

Think about the people you face daily. Which of them are energy vampires? How did you handle them in the past? Moving forward, how can you apply the 5 steps above when dealing with the energy vampires?

Filed in: People Skills, Relationships | Posted on Jun 23 2009